Ok I never thought I would get to this point of blogging about such personal things as this but after a long talk with my dearest friend Brandi she thinks that you all might be interested in hearing this info. Just to preface this post... I don't write this post for you to feel sorry for me and don't feel like you need to write any comments but here it goes. To those who have been wondering... what the heck are you and Ryan doing... graduated... both have jobs...living for free... been married over 3 years... and still NO KIDS! I know you have all been thinking it... don't lie.. I would too haha. Well we actually have been trying for almost a year and a half to get pregnant and I have wanted to be pregnant practically the whole time we have been married. To anyone that has gone through this... it is so painful. Every time you hear someone else is pregnant you want to feel happy for them but a good cry might come first, unfortunately. Every pregnancy test is the worst experience ever... let's just say I need a couple days to get over it because I made myself believe I am pregnant and even have false pregnancy signs and every time read the same negative sign. Now I might be a little dramatic but it's so hard to want something so badly and it be a righteous desire and have to wait for it. I want to be a mother so badly and it is hard that I can't accomplish that one thing right now. However, my Heavenly Father loves me sooo much!!! He obviously knows that I am an emotional person and so impatient that He let me know in my patriarchal blessing that my body will give birth to a multitude of children. And just 2 months ago my bishop asked what has been weighing on my mind and I decided to tell him that Ryan and I want kids so badly and he asked if he could give me a healing blessing. The blessing was so sweet and simple and basically said that it is coming so soon. How sweet of my Heavenly Father to send me these sweet and tender mercies.
No tests can explain why I can't get pregnant, no amount of money we have spent has made us pregnant, and now I think... every day is one day closer to me bringing children into this world. Thank goodness for trials and I can honestly say this even during this trial because I am getting stronger, more patient, and relying more and more on my Heavenly Father every single day! I know my children are looking down and saying... mommy just be patient... we're coming!
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4 years ago
10 comments:
Hi Brittany! I came across your blog from Brandi's and I wanted to say hello. I have a family member going through something similar (but she's not a member of the church) and so I have seen how difficult it is for her. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Hang in there, you are doing all the right things. How great is it that in the church we have so many amazing gifts to rely on. Patriarchal Blessings, The Priesthood... etc. I very much admire your faith & testimony and thank you for sharing this personal experience.
oh... this made me sad Brittany! Hang in there! You will be such a good mom when it happens!
Oh Brittany, I love you. This post just touches my heart :) Hopefully Heavenly Father sees that you've already learned what you were supposed to and you can get pregnant soon (te he he).
You're always in my prayers.
i just know it Will happen for you the tricky part is when:) Its a good the the Lord always picks the perfect timing for us bc if it were up to us we'd mess it all up for sure:) i love ya!
Hey Brittany! I got here through Heather's blog and just wanted to say that reading this post was like hearing my own thoughts and feelings... The yearning, the waiting, the tests, the disappointments, all of it weighs on your mind like nothing I've ever experienced.
Dave and I are coming up on our 4th anniversary this summer and I honestly thought we'd have 1, maybe 2 kids by that landmark. I guess that is not how things were meant to be though. I'm pretty sure that when I finally get a positive test, first I'll have a heart attack, and then I'll take a bunch more just to confirm it's true. I can't wait to get off this emotional roller coaster :)
Thank you for sharing your thoughts - I know it's not an easy thing to do. I truely wish the best of luck to you and Ryan!
Hey Brittany (yes I still blog stalk you, sorry! :) but i just wanted to say thank you for that post. I needed that. I have been struggling BIG time lately (especially the last few days)about the same issue and just needed to hear what you wrote. Thanks for your words of wisdom and for helping me remember to be patient no matter how hard it is. :)
Hey Brittany! I found your blog through Holly's and I am so glad I did. My husband and I have been going through this for a couple years, as well. I love how positive your attitude is. I was so bitter for a while and it was making me miserable. It wasn't until I accepted the fact that I have to wait for the Lord's timetable that my feelings changed and I've been a lot happier.
I still don't know when it's going to happen, but dealing with this is going to make me appreciate our babies so much more. I have so much love to give (which is why we keep adding pets...we're up to 4!) and I can't wait to be able to give that to a child. If you ever need to vent to someone who's going through the exact same thing, please keep me in mind :) Your family was always so sweet to me and my family and I'm so grateful for that.
You have such a great positive attitude and it helps give others the faith to keep going that are in the same situation. I agree that you will be an awesome mommy! I am sure that it will happen for you. Thank you!
Brittany,
It makes me sad to hear about this and I can't imagine how hard the past year and half have been for you. I admire your positive attitude and your ability to have faith in the situation. I am always praying for you and your family and I love you and miss you dearly!
Alix
Brittany! First of all I've never thought that about you, but I'm so sad to hear what you're going through. I can't imagine the heartbreak. Thank you for sharing your story because it is inspiring. You have such faith in Heavenly Father and His plan for you. You will be such an AMAZING mom. You are so much more positive than I think I would be. I'm so sorry you're going through this. It made me cry to read your post.
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