Is This Forever?

(Avery visiting mommy)

Hello! Just writing you from my new home...the hospital.  I've decided to move in! haha I have been here since Monday with an inflamed colon, ulcers, and some internal bleeding.  There have been miserable, painful, emotional, and hopeful experiences here.  This week has altered my life in so many ways and I already feel that it has shaped mine and my family's life.  I have undergone several procedures and tests and am now on my road to recovery/remission.  I may have Ulcerative Colitis instead of Crohn's, but they are all pretty closely linked.  I feel so blessed by all the visitors, gifts, phone calls, and prayers.  My husband has been so incredibly patient and has been here during the darkest hours of my entire life, I couldn't have done this without him.  My in-laws have been here every step of the way, taking care of my house, visiting me, and most importantly taking care of my baby.  It breaks my heart that she is getting used to not having me be her mommy, but luckily our little visits have been so sweet.  I think when Lolly and I are in the same room, she gets a little confused of who to go to for comfort.  It is so sad for me, but I wouldn't want it any other way.  My parents have been great emotional coaches through the phone and my mom will come to help take care of us for 2 weeks in May.  I hope to get released today or tomorrow and be at home with family and slowly become me.