Pregnancy Update

25 weeks and 2 days...

I have been putting this post off for far too long but realized that I really would like to remember what my 2nd pregnancy was like...I don't think it will be too hard to remember.  This pregnancy has been SO different than my first.  I absolutely loved being pregnant the first time and oddly enough missed it!  I feel a little differently about this pregnancy.  Before I start the update I want to preface that I'm not complaining about being pregnant because I swore I would never be ungrateful for this gift, however I'm giving the facts of what I've gone through with this pregnancy so far and it hasn't been super easy. 

 Last time I updated I had said that this pregnancy had been really easy other than being super tired.  I had a little morning sickness, but not too bad.  I only threw up once and it was because I waited too long to eat and then stuffed my face with Chick-fil-a...it was worth it! :) Everything was great until I hit about 14 weeks and I all of a sudden had a Crohn's flare up.  I didn't have any issues when I was pregnant with Avery, thank goodness because it would've taken more convincing for me to get pregnant again!  From weeks 14 to 22ish I was pretty miserable.  I suffered the effects of Crohn's disease, severe abdominal pain, difficulty digesting any kind of food, weight loss, up all night, anemia, etc.  I even went a few days on just a liquid diet hoping that would help.  Experiencing a flare up while being pregnant is extremely humbling.  Without a healthy body it seems that everything else falls apart and you can't do anything.  Of course, I still have another child to still take care of and I felt that I didn't have patience for her and couldn't spend quality time with her.  Luckily, I live with family and they helped so much.  Back in November, I met with my GI doctor and they determined to put me on steroids.. boo!  After being on those for 2 weeks, nothing had improved and so they put me on a strong anti-biotic for a month with the steroids.  Finally, there was some mild improvement...but before I could even blink I caught a bad chest cold, where I was up all night coughing.  At this point I was averaging about 3 hours of broken up sleep a night for the last 8 weeks and I felt like a walking zombie most days.  After a week of the cold and 2 lovely cold sores to help me look even more attractive ;) I finally felt that my burden was lifted.  I am finally able to get relatively good sleep besides having to go pee and the annoying leg cramps each night...but I'll take it!!  I can eat everything now...and by everything I mean it... the steroids are dangerous because they make it so you are never full...not a good combo when your're prego and trying not to gain too much weight.  It also causes weight gain and swelling, which I can see in my face.  I am tapering off the steroids now but unfortunately it has to be an extremely slow process, which means I will still be on them for another month.  Each week when I taper, I have extreme mood swings where I am either extremely angry or extremely sad.  I've had several embarrassing melt downs in front of other people, and hate that these drugs alter so much of who I really am.  Ryan has been so patient with me as I would often just cry into his chest, not knowing how I could possibly handle the rest of this pregnancy or him experiencing my crazy mood swings with the steroids.  He and the bishop gave me a beautiful healing blessing which brought great hope and comfort and once again amazed me that God answers prayers and knows exactly what is in your heart and mind.  Also with all of the drama, I thought it would be a really good idea to be in a hurry for Christmas Sunday, wear high heels, carry a bunch of things, and tumble down 10 stairs.  It was extremely scary for me to lose that much control and try to protect my unborn child.  Apparently, I turned my body around and took the fall on my back and head...I definitely still have the bruises to show for it.  One day I looked in the mirror and just began to weep as I saw my body like I've never seen it before.  Much chunkier in certain areas and a blue/purple hint all over my lower back and thighs.  I felt so ugly and unattractive and then as I studied those bruises, I began to think that because I was able to turn my body, my stomach never felt any impact and my baby was safe.  Suddenly those bruises didn't look so ugly.  On a lighter note, every time I go down the stairs now, my 2 year old definitely says "Careful mommy, don't fall down the stairs again".  What a great/annoying reminder haha!  I feel so grateful that through all of these health problems, our little girl is still healthy and growing.  I finally have energy to work out/walk and I'm trying to not eat ALL day long.  I took the glucose test today and am a little worried because the steroids can cause gestational diabetes, so I anxiously await those results.  I believe after the initial weight loss to now, I have gained a total of about 6-8 pounds but I look bigger or more swollen than that. My body remembers this whole pregnancy thing far too well and I feel my body just progressing so much quicker than the first which means being uncomfortable with way too many weeks left to go, but it will be worth it once I hold that sweet baby in my arms.  Like our Savior has said "I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it."